Everytime I Feel Hungry I will Taste the Food from my Thighs

    I don't know why I can't keep up with a fast. I just keep having one meal daily these days. Is a meal a day fine? I wish I had more self control, more strength.

Today I went to the mall to buy a pair of cute leather boots. It costed $130, I've never spent so much money on shoes before. Well this is major motivation for me, I can't wait for my legs to become long and slender. They would finally look good with those cute boots.

    Everytime I feel hungry, I'll just have to stare at my fat thighs. Thats where I will find food!

    I want hip bones, I want my ribs to show even when I'm not sucking in or arching my back. I want sharp shoulders, elbows and knees, I want there to be a huge gap between my thighs when I'm standing up with my feet together, I want my cheekbones to pop.

    I'm not going to just keep dreaming about this. I will turn this into a reality.
Today I had to eat my one meal because we ordered chinese and had to eat together as a family. There was so much pressure.
I can't bear to think of what the holidays will bring. I must not gain anymore!!!

Welcome to our community, Nate!

How are you all doing?
Stay strong,
xoxo Ryssa

Never Give In

Today was my best friend's birthday. I did sit ups this morning and shoveled snow, so that counts as working out. I also walked Cuddly, our puppy, and took a big route. Then when I was at the party, I didn't feel as guilty when I ate only a few chips, diet coke, and had cake. It was the hardest thing ever. I just wanted to puke, but I know I can't anymore. Well I did indeed eat the cake, slowly. And afterwards I said no to the beer and we had a good time.
I hope I won't binge when the holidays come. I need motivation, and I have it. (:
Sometimes I feel so alone, and I'm sure you do too.. When we can't tell anybody around us in real life, not even our family or best friends, not even our soulmates... On here, its like an escape, a getaway where all your secrets can be safe. <3 I'm so thankful for all your comments and support, it really means everything to me.
 I can't wait to be perfect. Don't give up, I know all you girls can do it. <3
Wishing you the best, xoxo - Ryssa

Motivation

I want to lose more weight, for the holidays coming up. Obviously there is going to be alot of pressure and food around the time so I guess we need to be prepared and motivated to not gain even more!!!

Together, we can do this. If you want something bad enough, it's going to happen.

Today was almost a complete fast, except I had supper. That totally just wasted my hard work. I'm not going to let that happen again. Tomorrows a brand new day, a day where I will try harder and not fail again. All I have to do to get my mind set on that is to believe in myself, and I will do it. We can all reach our goals. I'm here to support you, right here by your side. <3

Remember my beautiful little ladies, you deserve this. Again, thank you for the nice comments! It really helps me. <3

xoxo - Ryssa.

If it Weren't for Plans, Dreams Are Merely Wishes

How bad do I want this? Bad enough to make it come true. I hate myself for these pathetic excuses everytime I end up failing. I just need to forget about it and try again. Yes, I am a failure, but I don't need to continue failing. I am on the right road now and tomorrow there will be no mistakes. I have to make this right again. <3

There are specific parts of me I want to slim down, like my legs. I hate how they are so chunky and fat, and I try so hard to be thin, while other girls who are perfectly happy and eat all they want have the skinniest legs ever. Its unfair, but its life. -sigh- I wish I had the metabolism of a skyrocket like some lucky people have. And they even complain about it! Oh, kill me now.

Dear Mia: I hate you, and I have gave up on you. I wish my addiction to you will turn into nothing as soon as possible. You ruined my health and made it so easy for me to binge and get off track. Because of you, I end up failing so much, when I give in to food and remember I can't purge again.

Dear Ana: Please take control of me this time. I can only feel save with you. I could only feel beautiful, light when I am empty, because of you I might just win this fight. <3

Stay strong girlies.

xoxo - Ryssa.

Back on Track

Sorry for being so absent on here, I was so busy with school and friends that I went off track and gained weight! ): but today I got back and fasted for almost the whole day, except at lunch I was pressured into having pizza and pop. Well maybe on the weekends I can fast successfully with no one around to stop me. How are you girlies doing? (:
Here is some thinspo, I love KiKi Kannibal, I think she is the most gorgeous thing ever!
~You can feel free to take my thinspo.

Making the Decision

I've been so weak lately, giving in to the most fattening foods when I'm hungry, and not being able to maintain my fasting. I'm even feeling a little sick from eating too much junk food. (sore throat) I can't help but be mad a myself. But now I'm making the decision, whenever I feel the urge to binge, whenever I can't control myself, I'm only going to eat fruits and healthy, watery things until I'm full. I'm going to try fasting one more day, then I will finally weigh myself. I'm so scared of what I'll see, but I have to anyway.

Thinspo:

This is PERFECTION. <3

Remember girls, stay strong! You deserve this.

-xoxo, Ryssa

I found my living thinspiration.

So, theres this girl in my school, and she is tiny! I see her everyday in the hallways but I don't feel like talking to her. I admire her looks and how graceful she seems when she walks, she has such a beautiful slim figure, and I want to be just like that. Seeing her everyday is definately an inspiration to me. (: I need to get to how skinny she is, I'm shorter than her and yet im bigger! I feel horrible, but I will keep trying.
Thank you my lovely girls for giving supportive comments <3 but my boyfriend needed some space, he's going through a hard time and so we broke up. I cried alot after that. At first I was really depressed and in a "fml" mood but later on I thought more about it and realized maybe hes going through a tough time. These two days feels like forever. We never texted or talked at all. He wouldn't even look at me, and if he did he never cared about me. I feel shitty, and this gives another reason for me to work harder! Keep it up girls! I hope he will get through this phase, soon.

Surprised :D

I logged in today and I was shocked in a happy way to find out I had 5 new followers already! I can't explain in words how grateful I am. Thank you so much for reading and supporting my blog. You don't know how much it makes me smile to read every one of the nice comments I get. All you girls are so smart and wonderful and you deserve to have the perfect body you've always wanted, so never give in! <3
Look at some thinspo:

She's so SLIM!!!

OMG, shes perfect!

There is something about me that thinks bones are gorgeous.

I want her body! Is it even possible to have boobs when you're that thin?!

Stay strong, we can do this!

xo-Ryssa

Determination

I am determined to do this. To never throw up again, or eat junk food. No more gross junk "food", even though I know I am so fucking prone to giving in. Thats my weakness, that is what led me to bulimia instead of anorexia. Throwing up is worse because it hurts and you barely lose any weight if you binge then purge.

Tips
-drink water, lots of it! In order to feel fuller, and not dehydrate.
-do excercises to keep your mind off food
-dance around to music, its fun and relieves stress
-take vitamins to keep healthy if your not eating
-get more rest, try to sleep in a darkened, quiet room
-when you are having hunger pains, take a hot shower!

On my next post, I will be putting up alot of thinspo!